I’m sure you’ve heard the term that men want their wives to be good girls in public, but a freak in the bedroom. Well, I believe that’s true.

Just because you’re a Christian does not mean that you have to open your legs, have sex the same way, in the same position, and in the same room all the time. It is not a sin to explore your husband in different ways when it comes to sex in marriage.

Sex is a great way to communicate with your husband, and since marriage is the only relationship that God ordained for sexual relations you should give your husband everything!

Now, both you and your husband need to communicate and determine what works best for you and him when it comes to sex.

I would recommend staying away from porn because it can wreck your marriage and it brings other people into the bedroom although they are not physically there.

On the other hand, I would also discourage giving your husband “Pity sex.” This occurs when you choose to have sex with your husband out of obligation, and with no emotion or passion.

I know about this too well. In the earlier years of our marriage, I would give my husband “pity sex.”

I knew the Bible said I couldn’t withhold sex from him, but I didn’t know how important it was for me to open my heart to him during sex.

Sex in marriage is not just about getting an orgasm. It’s about sharing your heart, your body, and your whole self with the man you love AND then getting the orgasm!

I recognize that as women we struggle with a lot of thoughts that can hinder us from passionately making love.

These things include:

• Fatigue

• Kids

• Past emotional ties with other men

• Abuse

• Hurt within the marriage

• Problems with friends, family, work, and/or money

I think you should prayerfully deal with these issues and discuss them with your husband at the appropriate time. And while many of these items are important, they should be put aside during lovemaking for you to experience a world of love, passion, and ecstasy with your husband on a consistent basis.

It’s not easy and this is why we must do our part to get our minds right and focused on our husbands.

Below you’ll find some things that have helped me over the years:

• Throughout the day, imagine making love to your husband.

• Play love music throughout the day as you think about your husband.

• Refuse to look at or connect with old boyfriends on social media that day or at all if you know you’re vulnerable in that area.

• An hour before you make love with your husband, refuse to discuss “heavy topics” such as money, kids, family, work, or any areas where the two of you have strong opinions. Doing this will put both of you at ease and allow you to let go of your defenses.

• Give love taps throughout the day. This could include: kisses, pats/touches in intimate areas, hugs, etc. I’d say whatever works for you and him, and just do it.

• Text him sexy messages during the day.

• Look good (for yourself) and to him every day.

• Wear something sexy!

While all men are different, in most cases most men aren’t complicated. And they love sex!

While men don’t often communicate as often as we do, sex is a great way to communicate with your husband. And if you can learn to view sex as an opportunity to connect with your husband on a more intimate, deeper level it could change your perspective and open the door to more communication in your marriage.