Some Christians wonder whether sex is actually a sinful deed, and whether they are allowed to enjoy it. Read in this article what the Biblical view is about sex in your marriage.
Sex Is Not Sinful
Sex was designed by God – not by Satan – and God designed humans in a completely different way to other species. Unlike animals, where sex is purely a way to produce offspring, humans were designed by God to be able to enjoy sex.
In the book of Leviticus God has seen to it that many of the sex-related uses of the ancient Middle East are prohibited – things that were abominable to God. But even among all those things there is no mention that a married couple cannot enjoy sex. Therefore there is no reason for you to believe that expressing your affection for your wife in and through sex is forbidden or would harm your relationship with God – quite the opposite (see the mention of the book Song of Solomon a little later).
You Were Designed To Enjoy Sex
It was not only for the purpose of producing offspring that God designed our sex organs (both male and female) to have thousands of nerve ends. We were designed to be able to enjoy sex.
Intimacy and sexual intercourse were God’s idea, and He has put many references in the Bible about sex. The Song of Solomon (also known as “Song of Songs”) is one of the world’s best examples of ancient erotic literature, and is a clear indication that God designed sex to be enjoyed by a married couple.
In short, God wants you to have great sex – both you and your wife were designed for it, and in the security of marriage great sex is part of God’s master plan. That is because great sex lets you grow closer together. Having great, fulfilling sex will strengthen your marriage bond and make you less likely to fall for outside temptations.
But Can Christians Have Good Sex?
As mentioned above, some Christians feel guilty when they enjoy sex, thinking that is un-Christian to enjoy sex with their spouse. This is absolutely unnecessary.
As long as you enjoy sex with your husband or wife there is no need to feel guilty at all. Obviously, if you have sex with someone other than your spouse you are outside of God’s plan, and then you have reason to feel guilty.
But as long as you stay within God’s plan – meaning having sex with your spouse – you are free to enjoy the limitless pleasure that he or she provides you. In fact, God has said that, once you marry, your body is not your sole “property” any more, but also belongs to your wife. And similarly, her body also belongs to you (see 1 Corinthians 7:4-6). From this text we learn that both spouses have an equal right to the other spouse’s body. And that each of you has the freedom – plus the responsibility – to please the other and to be pleased in return.
You have the complete freedom to enjoy your spouse’s body, and nothing has to hold you back. That’s how God designed it. So, be intimate to your heart’s content with the wife that God has given you.
You will also find that, as you grow together and get to know each other better, your sex will improve with the years. Like any activity which you do over many years, you’ll find that you get better with time. So keep enjoying it as you get older.
What About Oral Sex?
This is probably one of the most-asked questions about sex from Christians. It stems from the respect that we must have for the bodies that God gave us, and people often wonder whether it would be going outside of God’s rules if they practiced oral sex. Some people think that there are certain parts of the body that should not be touched, except during intercourse, and then only by another sexual organ.
Again, the Bible doesn’t directly mention oral sex, nor whether certain parts of the body are not to be touched or kissed. But, based on what the Bible does mention, we can make certain assumptions, guided by general rules provided by God. There is no biblical evidence that it is a sin for a husband and wife to express their love for each other in this way.
Basically, the Bible doesn’t forbid oral sex, nor discuss it directly. But God gave us the book Song of Solomon, in which is described the wonderful love between a husband and wife. And if we realise and accept that God is the author of sex, we can find some wonderful things in this book about how we can – and should – enjoy sex with our spouses.
If you read the Song of Solomon you will notice that God intended the relationship between husband and wife to be a loving relationship, which is sensuous, joyful, creative and full of pleasure.
There are some biblical analysts who believe that certain parts of the Song of Solomon refer to oral sex when it speaks about the husband and wife tasting, eating and drinking of each other’s bodies (see Song of Solomon 2:3; 4:16; 5:1 and 8:2).
From the Bible there is no indication that sex between husband and wife is wrong or sinful. On the contrary, from the Song of Solomon we can deduce that the sexual relationship of a married couple is supposed to be a loving, sensuous, joyful and pleasurable experience for both of them.
God is concerned about your love for your wife (and her love for you). What God expects of all Christians is that they should be kind to each other, patient, respectful and unselfish (refer 1 Cor 13). This applies just as much – or maybe even more – to a husband and wife, who have been bonded into a very special relationship by God.
Ultimate love has only pure motives, and is never selfish in nature, as is described in 1 Cor 13. As long as you follow this general “rule of thumb” you are likely to stay within God’s will. Therefore, be creative in your sexual relationship, and enjoy what God has given you to enjoy.
Never Stop Working On Your Marriage