How important is sex in Christian Marriage?

Many Christian married people ask me, “Why do you make such a big deal about sex

in Christian marriage?”

Few human activities have as many references in the Bible as sex in Christian


One thing that I find particularly interesting is that those references are

fairly evenly divided between very strong positive commandments to participate

and enjoy “God-blessed” sex (within marriage) and very strong negative warnings

about avoiding “God-condemned” sex (outside of marriage).

Our sexuality is absolutely one of the crucibles within which God forms and

crystallizes our spiritual, emotional and social characters.

Our culture is, literally “sex soaked.”

It is virtually impossible to navigate through an entire hour of any given day

without being confronted with sex.

Television, radio, movies, magazines, books and the Internet are filled with

almost relentless images and/or references to sex.

And, as a rule, these references are not to the “God-blessed” types of

sexuality. They are certainly not the type of sex in Christian marriage

activities that we would feel comfortable pursuing.

As Christians, this shouldn’t surprise us very much. The Bible tells us that

“the world” is in a constant state of rebellion. And, because sex is such a

powerful thing, it is one of “the enemy’s greatest weapons.

Used properly, sex can bring us closer to God and each other. It can improve our

mental, physical and emotional well-being. Sex in Christian marriage,

ultimately, strengthens our families.

Used improperly, it can have the exact opposite effect. It can destroy our well

beings, marriages and families.

Sex in Christian marriage is one of those real-world gifts that God has given to

us that allow us to access the powerful and mystical connections between us and

God and each other.

It is my opinion that the more knowledgeable and skillful we become in the area

of sex in Christian marriage, the more capable we are of utilizing this gift in

a powerful and positive manner.

If you find yourself confused and frustrated, sexually, because of your lack of

knowledge or skill, I believe that you (and your spouse) are less likely to

experience all of the blessings that God offers to you (and your spouse) through


Also, I believe that you are more likely to be tempted and deceived by “the

world’s” poor substitutes for “God-blessed” sexual experiences.

On the other hand, if you are experiencing sex in Christian marriage’ as God

intended, you will find that you, your marriage and your family will all