How important is sex in Christian Marriage?
Many Christian married people ask me, “Why do you make such a big deal about sex
in Christian marriage?”
Few human activities have as many references in the Bible as sex in Christian
One thing that I find particularly interesting is that those references are
fairly evenly divided between very strong positive commandments to participate
and enjoy “God-blessed” sex (within marriage) and very strong negative warnings
about avoiding “God-condemned” sex (outside of marriage).
Our sexuality is absolutely one of the crucibles within which God forms and
crystallizes our spiritual, emotional and social characters.
Our culture is, literally “sex soaked.”
It is virtually impossible to navigate through an entire hour of any given day
without being confronted with sex.
Television, radio, movies, magazines, books and the Internet are filled with
almost relentless images and/or references to sex.
And, as a rule, these references are not to the “God-blessed” types of
sexuality. They are certainly not the type of sex in Christian marriage
activities that we would feel comfortable pursuing.
As Christians, this shouldn’t surprise us very much. The Bible tells us that
“the world” is in a constant state of rebellion. And, because sex is such a
powerful thing, it is one of “the enemy’s greatest weapons.
Used properly, sex can bring us closer to God and each other. It can improve our
mental, physical and emotional well-being. Sex in Christian marriage,
ultimately, strengthens our families.
Used improperly, it can have the exact opposite effect. It can destroy our well
beings, marriages and families.
Sex in Christian marriage is one of those real-world gifts that God has given to
us that allow us to access the powerful and mystical connections between us and
God and each other.
It is my opinion that the more knowledgeable and skillful we become in the area
of sex in Christian marriage, the more capable we are of utilizing this gift in
a powerful and positive manner.
If you find yourself confused and frustrated, sexually, because of your lack of
knowledge or skill, I believe that you (and your spouse) are less likely to
experience all of the blessings that God offers to you (and your spouse) through
Also, I believe that you are more likely to be tempted and deceived by “the
world’s” poor substitutes for “God-blessed” sexual experiences.
On the other hand, if you are experiencing sex in Christian marriage’ as God
intended, you will find that you, your marriage and your family will all