In Christian Marriage, I never thought it was possible to marry someone and not instantly become teammates. But it happened with me because I had been foolish enough to believe it would effortlessly happen after we vowed, “I do”.
The Scriptures discuss the advantages of functioning in a teamwork environment, but it surely does take work on the part of both partners to become a married team.
The Advantages of Companionship (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NLT)
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.
As a young husband, I was eager to meet the demands of my wife and future children. I made the error of making a personal success plan designed to inevitably help the entire household or so I assumed.
Here is what I personally learned:
1. Without the engaged participation of your husband or wife, the best strategy is not going to be effective. I was aiming for the accomplishment of my personal objectives every year, unfortunately my wife did not think about these accomplishments as team successes. Real problem!
If you are not a team, competition will set in your marriage and be divisive. Eventually, I awakened to a partner who truthfully believed that she had less value than me in the partnership. I thought, “How so? I depend upon you for everything baby.”
2. As the leader, it is your obligation to make sure you validate, support, and value the efforts of your partner in every given project. In today’s world, front runners are provided all of the public credit for the positive results attained by the team. You cannot change how other individuals may possibly deal with your supporting cast, but you must discover tips on how to give them proper recognition for any labor happening behind the scenes.
Whether you like football or not, we can all learn from quarterbacks that quickly praise their offensive linemen who have shielded them all game long. They know that without their work, the spectacular passes would not have been possible.
3. Allow your mate the chance to attain some leadership experience when the situation presents itself. There is no better way to completely understand how vital the team concept is than to become the leader yourself. I may function as the head of household at home, but God gave my wife the chance to lead a young adult organization in our Church. I supported her decision to do it as part of my own commitment to our team. A couple of months later, when the group had taken on a substantial fundraising task that could not be completed by her work alone. It slowly became clear that excellent results could only materialize if the group stepped up and supported her. She had absolutely no choice, but to rely on the group. This encounter was good for our marriage because it deepened her understanding of being the leader. In the same way, every husband needs his wife whether we will vocally express it or not!
Challenge: Design a combined marriage success plan along with your other half! Post it in the house as a frequent reminder. Your likelihood of attaining everything that God has for your Christian marriage is far greater if you agree on the map.